Got the blues

I've got the blues. It's not fun. It's been creeping in and out of my life since Matt lost his job. Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and it felt like the same argument yet again over the same thing?! Now that it's been 10 months since the lay off I think we have both lost hope.

Every time the seasons change I think Matt feels more pressure to magically fix every thing. The smallest things become a trigger to all the things we can't control. Were crowding up my parent's house with our stuff. Christmas is coming and it would be so nice to have our own home and space again.

My heart is up in my throat right now. You know that feeling? Luckily my sister is playing with Violet right now. It is nice to have people available most days to help out with her.

But then I guess it gives me more time to feel sorry for myself! I keep gaining weight and that makes me more sad and then I think about how were short on money and don't have a house and then I want to eat more! It's become a quick fix for me to bake brownies and cheer myself up temporarily.

I don't feel like myself. I miss feeling genuinely happy. I wish God could let me peek into the future and see that things will get better. For now I'm going to go take a bath and wash these tears away.

Words of Wisdom

MOTIVATION is not something you find or lose, have or don't have. It is the product of how you see yourself in the world: active or passive, effective or ineffective, powerful or victimized, normal or pathological. If you want to be able to motivate yourself, you need to begin seeing yourself as ACTIVE, EFFECTIVE, POWERFUL, and NORMAL.

I love that saying. It's so true! Whenever I feel weak, I am weak. Makes sense.

Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name. When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them, and show them my salvation. (Psalm 91:14-16)

This is a great verse to read when your feeling sad or stressed. GOD is always there for me!

YOU MAKE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES!!!!

Your destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
It's not something you wait for, but rather something you pursue.

Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities.
Seize common occasions and make them great.

Opportunities sometimes come disguised in the form of misfortune
or temporary defeat.

Start where you are.
You're at this moment standing right in the middle of opportunity.

Act on your dreams and you can have them.

- Max Steingart