I've got the blues. It's not fun. It's been creeping in and out of my life since Matt lost his job. Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and it felt like the same argument yet again over the same thing?! Now that it's been 10 months since the lay off I think we have both lost hope.
Every time the seasons change I think Matt feels more pressure to magically fix every thing. The smallest things become a trigger to all the things we can't control. Were crowding up my parent's house with our stuff. Christmas is coming and it would be so nice to have our own home and space again.
My heart is up in my throat right now. You know that feeling? Luckily my sister is playing with Violet right now. It is nice to have people available most days to help out with her.
But then I guess it gives me more time to feel sorry for myself! I keep gaining weight and that makes me more sad and then I think about how were short on money and don't have a house and then I want to eat more! It's become a quick fix for me to bake brownies and cheer myself up temporarily.
I don't feel like myself. I miss feeling genuinely happy. I wish God could let me peek into the future and see that things will get better. For now I'm going to go take a bath and wash these tears away.
1 comment:
I'm sorry friend :( That must be hard with the house/job situation!! I wish you weren't down...I want to help any way I can. We need to do that dinner thing sometime soon!
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